big, goofy jerk

I have a friend who is one of the sweetest people you could want to know. She is a bit typically girly, which is to say that she is very emotional; a wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve type, and that is part of what makes her so lovable. For the past few months, she's been on an emotional rollercoaster, because she got (unexpectedly) pregnant, and she was very happy about it. Her fiance seemed more surprised than happy, as they have a soon-to-be one year old boy at home. He loves their son, and she has often commented how, through any problems they've had, the fact that he's a great father has made her appreciate him in ways she never would have imagined. It's earned him a get out of jail card on more than one occasion. Unfortunately, the first 10 weeks of her pregnancy were beyond difficult. She thought she had miscarried several times, and with every episode, she got more and more emotionally exhausted. She wanted this baby so much, and the thought of having a sibling for her little boy made her well up in tears, but the fear of losing this baby was constantly haunting her.

Though she didn't say so at the time, it turns out that her man, daddy of the year, was acting completely detached from all of her pregnancy problems. She was dealing with so much of it without his support. Though she confided in me about a lot of what was going on, she finally revealed last night the true depth of her dilemma. She and her fiance are splitting up. She is now about 14 weeks pregnant, and once the house is sold, will be going it alone...with a one year old, and one on the way. She is finally at a more stable place in her pregnancy, and the rest of her life is coming apart.

My heart hurt for her last night as she was telling me what was happening. I want to protect her, this fragile, emotional woman, from something I cannot. I want to kick him in the face. What kind of man walks away from a relationship when the woman he (supposedly) wanted to marry is pregnant with his second child? How is it that through these last couple of months she's been in turmoil, he has emotionally removed himself? I just don't understand it. To top it all off, he was totally dating UP. She is adorable and sweet, and frankly, he's a big, goofy dude. He should have been thanking god on an hourly basis that she let him get near enough to her to knock her up.

All I can do is be there for her, for whatever she may need, and will let me do. I'm an awesome babysitter, and a good shoulder to cry on, but I just wish I could do more. I'm frustrated, I'm angry for her. I'm officially cranky.