Conflict and Drama

Still there? Oh, good. I realize I've neglected you, but there has been a lot of the mundane and not so much of the juicy stuff to share with you. Work, yoga, blah blah blah. Though I am teaching my last yoga class for my training hours this Sunday, so I'm very close to being a total yogini master. Or at least a certified instructor. Soon, I can start making videos for Yoga4Dudes:

I have had this one conflict that has made me think. My bestest fabulous gay friend and I had a bit of a tiff. It started with the most ridiculous debate ever, about the current state of music. The mass-produced, bubble gum pop resulting from American Idol, in particular. Let's just say that he owns music from at least two of these pop stars, along with everything Britney Spears has ever done, and even Paris Hilton's lame-ass attempt at music.

Being the drama queen that he is, he took this funny little argument to an extreme stance. Basically, he proclaimed that these people are all talented, based upon the fact that they've made millions of dollars. To make the stance even more extreme, he then stated that money is the most important thing, so naturally, if an "artist" (I'm using this word extremely loosely) makes a ton of cash, it legitimizes him/her as a talented musician.

Now, if his argument was that he likes them because they are entertaining in a bubble gummy sort of way, and he likes to bop his head to it, that would have been just fine. I can understand the embracing of the cheese. I adore 80's movies for just that reason. Are they examples of profound and important films? Hell no. But they're fun.

However, one of my best friends stating that nothing is more important than money? Ugh. It just didn't sit well with me. It escalated things to a level they shouldn't have gone to. It's weeks later, and he's still a little perturbed about the whole thing. The thing that upset him most is that after his bold "money rules all" statement, I told him I felt sorry for him. He claims it was a judgment, and as his friend, I shouldn't judge him. I think it's compassion. How can I not feel sorry for someone claiming to have such a shallow view of the world?

The fact is, I know he doesn't really feel this way. He lives his life in a way that completely contradicts it. He is the kind of guy who would give you the shirt off his back, and that is not the same kind of person who values money over all other things. He simply felt like he was backed into a corner and chose to take an extreme stance to defend his argument.

He's very stubborn, and I don't know if he's willing to concede that his argument is simply based on bullshit. Am I supposed to be the bigger person here and apologize for hurting his feelings to squash a conflict that started out as a silly squabble? Or do I insist that he admit that his rationalization was all just inflated drama?


Betty said...

I have this friend who I love and adore to pieces. When we have a conflict, and it sits (like yours) for days or weeks, we do this thing that has worked for nearly a decade:

Instead of addressing the issue, one of us simply asks, "We okay?" and we fall over each other saying "I love you" and never address the issue, because really, it was stupid anyway and we are going to be friends forever even if his opinion was totally wrong.

Try it. Totally works. Well, at least in my dreams.

Uncle Bracelet said...

If you know him to not be this way, and you know why he's taking the stance he is, then you'll have to be the bigger person.

You can probably explain to him that he knows he's being a bit excessive with his point and that you know he's not like that and love him for both sides, the stubborn and the non-money loving friend, and he'll probably concede.

Sorry for being so smart there for a second, I'll try not to do it again. It's just, I have this big brain and all. It's hard not to accidentally use it sometimes.