UnfuckingBelievable

For those of you wondering where all the good bitching on this site has gone recently, you are in for a pleasant surprise.

I might have the worst luck possible with cars. A brief history: At 20, I leased my very first brand new vehicle. It was an Acura, in a yummy dark green color and I loved it. I had it for exactly 10 days when it was backed into by a garbage truck at 5am. My next car, after I turned the Acura in, was an adorable little Miata. About a month after I drove it off the showroom floor, I was driving down the West Side Highway, on my way home from school, when it went completely haywire on me. The radio started turning on and off, everything on the dashboard was flashing and, while driving, the alarm started going off. I pulled over, turned the car off, and the alarm continued to blare, despite my desperate pounding on the alarm control and my pleading with the car to "Pleeeease stop acting possessed". Luckily, a police officer was nearby and helped me get a tow truck. Apparently, the alarm was hooked up improperly, causing the entire electrical system to short out. That same cute, little Miata was hit (while parked) 3 times in the 3 years I had it.

Since I split with the ex, we've been sharing the car. I haven't gotten around to getting a new one and he never ever uses it anyway. So the deal is that I have a set of keys to the car and use it whenever I want, but park it near his place, in a designated parking spot in a lot. Right after I left for NC a couple weeks ago, someone stole the headlights off the car. They did a lot of damage to it in the process, and it's been in the shop since. In the interim, I have been driving a rental, courtesy of the insurance company. It's a big, hideous Cadillac Escalade, and I hate it. But a truck is often necessary in moving things to and from the studio, so I've dealt with driving the monstrosity just fine. Last night, I went to yoga, so I took the car and I left it out on the street near my building. I know I wasn't supposed to, and I told the ex I wouldn't do that, but I was tired and just didn't feel like bringing it back, reasoning with myself that if I returned it this morning, he'd never know. It's Sunday; he is never awake on Sundays before 2pm anyway. So, I went downstairs about noon, planned on running to the grocery store, then bringing the car back. I got outside..no hideous Escalade to be found. Trying to be optimistic, I thought that just maybe he had needed it and came and drove it off, planning to ream me later for not bringing it back last night. After several unsuccessful attempts at calling him, I went over to his place, where I didn't see the car. Rang the doorbell..no answer. This actually gave me some relief, as his not being home would be consistent with him having the vehicle. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. He was just sleeping (at this point, it was 1:30pm). I went back to my building and asked the doormen if it was possible that the car was towed. The street where I left it is officially a "no parking" zone, but it is never, ever enforced, hence my leaving it there. So, one of the doormen called the police precinct, to find out if it was towed. Turns out that, yes, it was impounded. Not because of the parking restrictions, but because it was reported to be in "suspicious condition". And the condition that was so suspect that they impounded the vehicle? NO FUCKING HEADLIGHTS. Sweet, huh? I am in soooo much trouble. And I have to go to the precinct and fill out a report. And the rental place is closed today. Today is just brilliant so far.