heartbreak

I am currently dealing with a good friend who is completely heartbroken. The type of heartbroken that makes me hurt for him, especially since I have seen all that he's done to repair his situation, to no avail. We've all been hurt, but the lengths he has gone to to get this woman back is unreal to me. Surely above and beyond anything I've ever done in that situation. This woman left him...while he was away...working, with only a short, vague note and a phone call, after she had already packed all of her belongings and was gone.

He went through a few days of being pissed off and shocked, but then...then he launched a full-on campaign of get-girlfriend-back. There have been letters...well-written and heartfelt, to her family, because they were together for a long time, and he is close with them. Not letters placing blame for the horrid way that she ended their relationship, but apologizing for any role he may have played in her unhappiness. He made videos that he sent to her, in which he pleaded his case, the first with humor (he's a comedian), and the second filled with pictures of them together and happy, with the narrative between simply pointing out that they were taken just in the weeks before she left, and look how happy they were.

It's been heart wrenching, and I just want him to be better. He's gotten no response so far. It's been 3 weeks today. I want to shake this woman for not realizing what she has given up. I realize you can never know the whole story from just one person's perspective. I'm sure she has her reasons, but he is someone I've known a very long time, and I know she couldn't possibly do better, or find someone who could love her more.

Anyone have a magic heart-healing potion I can give to him? At what point and how do you tell someone you love that it's time for them to let someone go for good?

3 comments:

Huge Junk said...

I look at that a different way, but then again I like to hold grudges.

Anyhow, if my girlfriend did something like that to me when there isn't any chance I'd do something like that to her, then I'd take the outlook that things never would have worked out. That's a pretty big statement someone makes when they do something like that.

I don't know anything about your friends, and I'm sorry your guy friend has to go through something like that. Hopefully it ends up being the right thing for him.

Tell him he should start a blog and write angry blog posts about her. That's what I'd do.

elizabeth said...

i tend to agree with you on this, and it's what makes it so hard to watch him torture himself over it. blech

and speaking of angry blog posts...get ON WITH IT...you're a slacker.

sitboaf said...

Something odd happened to a friend of mine a few years ago. His wife of 5 years started dating other people and kicked him out of their new house. They had overcome problems years before, seemed happy, and even had a daughter together.
His theory was that she was used to a life of chaos, and could not handle it when their life stabilized.
Perhaps your friend's girlfriend started to see her lifelong dreams of a husband and a house with a picket fence starting to become finalized - and got freaked out that it wasn't all she expected.
This time I will agree with Huge Junk: this might be the inevitable conclusion of a situation that was waiting to go bad. Perhaps it's the best thing, however painful.
My sympathies for him. Maybe you can invite him to join your rotating boy-harem. He'll forget all about what's-her-name.