Hi, my name is Wheezy. And I'm here to entertain you.

Regale you, even.

Did I just spell "regale" correctly? Ah, screw it. I don't really care about whether I spelled it right or not. I have more important things to worry about.

Like midgets. (I fear a takeover)

Or the high prices of gasoline. (It makes huffing it a rather expensive habit)

I saw a picture of Britney Spears today that made me all hot and stuff, and I don't normally get all sorts of worked up that easily. She obviously has her hands all up in the pulse of sexy. And by "pulse of sexy" I pretty much mean the "throttle of fugliness."

Yes, I know.

I also had to immediately go masturbate. It was inevitable. I mean, seriously! She looks like a girl with Down's Syndrome dressing up as G.I. Jane for Thanksgiving.

Why Thanksgiving?

Because she's retarded, that's why!

Why shouldn't she dress up for the wrong holiday? If I had Down's I totally would. I'd also probably have a poster of Corky (The Down's Syndrome George Clooney) on my wall.

Because that's how I roll.

And before you get all pissed about me making fun of people with Down's Syndrome I should tell you that I have friends with DS. Plus if Elizabeth gives me enough time to post on her site you'll see that I make fun of everybody, including myself. It's equal opportunity fun time!

As an HR manager for a Real Estate company I have seen and heard it all, it seems. I often see people break down in the manner Britney seems to have done. I won't lie. It's fun as hell to watch!

Go Britney! Ruin that life!


Irritable Male Syndrome said...

HI bob!

F-Train said...

Order is restored to the world.

elizabeth said...

well done, as always, "wheezy". you have been sorely missed.

as you know, you have free reign to write here whenever it tickles your fancy. i hope you are tickled often.

Joe Speaker said...

Let's raise a glass to the Throttle of Fugliness.

Smoking is such and ugly habit.