Man Notes™ IX

Yes, the Man Notes return! Fear not. I'm here for you. Some do's and don'ts for you y chromosome folks:

Do:
Show some emotion. It's ok to have feelings, guys. Have we not evolved to the point that we know this by now? Let me be more specific. It's ok to have all emotions, including sadness, not just "pissed off".

You can call it being bothered or being annoyed, but if it's actually hurt or disappointed, it's totally ok to call it what it is. It doesn't make you a pussy...unless you're a cry baby all the time.

Don't:
Replace the emotion you're feeling with something else, simply because it is easier to deal with some than with others. Don't be a drama queen either:


  • Your dog dies. Crying is ok.
    Your dog jumps up on you, accidentally hitting the family jewels. Walk it off.


  • Your girlfriend/wife yells at you and calls you horrible names. Totally ok to be pissed off. If you aren't married to her, it's actually fair basis to ditch her at this point.
    Your girlfriend/wife tells you, in a calm way, that she is not happy with you. While there might be some anger involved, if you feel you haven't contributed to the unhappiness, the emotion here is one of sadness, perhaps confusion. Don't be an ass. A tear or two at this point would be in your best interest.


  • If your last relationship has been over for more than a few months, even if you still feel you have unresolved feelings about it, SNAP OUT OF IT. If it's a year later, and you're still sobbing uncontrollably? For the love of God, get some professional help. This is where you go from good-sensitive to totally-ridiculous-pussy-who-needs-to-get-laid-already.

Do:
Be open to meeting someone (if you are single) who isn't what you believe to be your perfect "type".

  • So, you normally date blondes. So what? She'd be really hot if she was 5 pounds thinner? It's not that big a deal. Taller/shorter, blah blah blah. These things are so inconsequential in the end.


Don't:
Lower your standards in the type of person she is based on physical attraction.

  • You're boys. We expect you to have meaningless flings with women you wouldn't want a long term thing with. However, you shouldn't invest significant time and energy with someone who you feel is beneath you intellectually, or treats you badly, or has no sense of humor, just because you're having great sex.

  • So you meet someone you feel has some potential. If you see warning signs popping up, don't be reluctant to heed them because you saw a glimmer of something in the beginning that has faded into the abyss. It's ok to move on. You probably aren't going to be lonely forever if you don't settle for someone you will want to kill later on.

5 comments:

Betty Underground said...

As a woman, I pride myself in being a good listener.

So what I hear you saying is, that your boyfriend cheated on you with a blonde who was 5 pounds thinner than you, whom he met on a walk after a dog smashed his balls.

You yelled and him, which reminded him of his x who he still hasn't gotten over and now you are going to start writing more angry posts?

Am I right? Am I?

Wheezy said...

Uh-Oh!

elp said...

I see no other logical interpretation of this latest installment.

elizabeth said...

obviously you people haven't been paying attention...or maybe i haven't been clear.

my man RULES. he would never do any of this crap. i've been forced to take inspiration from friends and friends' boyfriends because have i mentioned the ruling? and the awesome? and the lack of pussification? perhaps i need to write another post about it.

Betty Underground said...

No No No No - we get it. I was wrong. Wishful thinking.

Jaded posts are so much more fun than the gushy ones. For me, at least.