due to popular demand...

the update/aftermath of this.

I actually went and met Sandra for breakfast the next day...brunch to be more accurate, since I didn't roll out of bed til noon. She apologized profusely, I told her she had no reason to be sorry, all is fine, I still love her, and next time, I'm videotaping. Ok, I didn't say that last part. But everything is good. She did tell everyone (over bloody marys) the story, in detail, which means I've been fielding lesbian comments ever since. The boys are all just terribly jealous, because she's hot. It actually opened up some dialog about all the confusion she has going on in her head, so it just made us closer friends.

Speaking of head confusion, I've been battling...well, battling might be too strong a word, but certainly tumbling some serious life decisions around my own head recently. I'm getting close to making those decisions, but it doesn't make them any less scary.

For me, the problem with big changing-of-life questions, is that coming up with the right answers causes me to be cranky. I'm someone who prides myself on being decisive and in control, so when I have to spend serious time pondering those things, it makes me feel a bit vulnerable. I don't do vulnerable well. I get in my own head a bit too much, pushing people out who are trying to be helpful, who try to guide me. I'm trying to acknowledge that and control it as much as possible, but it's difficult.

I know that in theory, change is good. I keep reminding myself of that. A big part of yoga, for me, is the meditation aspect. When I'm unsure about something, I dedicate my practice to letting go of it and entrusting that the right thing will come to me. That may sound a little new-agey or hokey to some people, but it works for me. Tonight, my practice was all about releasing my current conundrums, to allow the correct path to show itself. Let's hope it works before I drive myself, and all of the important people around me, batshit crazy.

3 comments:

Betty said...

Way to follow-up a clarification (sans video) about one topic and go all vague on us!

WHAT DECISIONS? Will there be video of THAT? I only ask for DP and The Uncle, of course.

elp said...

I have to confess I am terribly jealous too. It's obviously time for me to move on. Hey, do you think Sandra would wanna make out with me?

Uncle Bracelet said...

Perhaps all you need is a little sage advice from the late great Ol' Dirty Bastard...

"I want pussy for free, I want pussy for free. You can not have my money. I want pussy for free, look, I want pussy for free. I want pussy for free, I want pussy for free (for freeeeeeeee)"

What he's trying to say here is that sometimes God doesn't give you lemons, but still expects you to find a way to make lemonade out of what you have. Therefore, you often have to take what he has given you and utilize that to find lemons. Either that or he just wants pussy for free.