It's Complicated

Some people find it odd that my ex and I are such good friends. I can see how that can be difficult for some to grasp, but that's just the way it is. Because my man is super confident and sexy, he feels no intimidation by this fact, and has hung out with the ex and I on several occasions. He's cool like that. Unfortunately, the same has not been the case with women the ex has tried to date. They feel threatened by me, or by our close friendship, or whatever, and eventually, they attempt to give an ultimatum. That never works.

I tried, months ago, to play matchmaker with the ex and a really cool girl. She's pretty and confident and fun, and we get along really well, so I figured she'd be perfect for him and less likely to get all insecure and retarded around me. We'll call her Sandra, to protect the innocent, and that will be necessary as this story progresses. Unfortunately, Sandra has been in a semi relationship situation, and thought it better to wait that out before dating anyone else. I respect that. It shows that she isn't some flaky chick willing to date a guy, even if she may be slightly interested, if her loyalties lie elsewhere. A testament, if you will, to why I thought she'd be a good girlfriend to begin with. Nevertheless, we've all remained good friends. All is well, and the ex actually met a girl about two months ago. I really like her, and things are looking fairly good for them.

It was Sandra's birthday a couple of days ago, and she was in the neighborhood today. She is equally my friend and the ex's at this point, and the three of us met up for some drinks and decided to go to dinner. The new girlfriend lives just up the street from the restaurant we were going to, and said she might swing by and say hi before going out for a girl's night with her friends. We sat at the bar, sipping champagne (for them...bubbles make my head hurt) and wine (for me). We were laughing and having a good time, and the girlfriend did, indeed make an appearance. Sandra suddenly got a little bit catty. She did a weird hair flipping, back-turning thing that only women would probably even recognize as a twinge of jealousy. Interesting.

After the girlfriend left to go out with her friends, Sandra's whole demeanor changed. She simultaneously complimented the girlfriend, while making a few pointed remarks about how she thought the girlfriend should have wanted to spend more time with the man she so recently started dating. She then started to flirt with him intensely. I was beginning to think that maybe I should politely excuse myself, when he stepped outside to take a phone call. As soon as he was out of earshot, Sandra started telling me about some guy. Not the one she had been dating since we met, but some other guy, whom she had recently met. She called him. At this point, I'd say it was a semi-drunk dial, since she wasn't too out of control...yet. Apparently, she invited this guy to come and meet us. She sounded sort of giddy and giggly when she spoke to him. Even more interesting.

Sandra got up to go to the bathroom and the ex came back to the table, commenting about how flirtatious she had been, and, of course, noting that all women are fucked. All of a sudden, she meets his new girl and he's desirable to her? Then I told him about our guest who would be arriving. Confusion ensued. Was this a ploy on her part to now make him jealous? What was the point? He made it known for months that he was interested, and she never took him up on it.

Mystery man arrived, charming and fun. There was a bit of odd preening between the boys, as they sized each other up a bit, trying to figure out the dynamic that was happening. It was all a bit complicated. At this point, Sandra was looking a little too drunk for her own good. She wouldn't be driving any time soon, and the ex suggested we all go to his place so she could chill out and possibly even crash in a spare room if she wanted to. I was getting tired, but agreed to go for a little while before heading home.

As soon as we started walking, I realized just how drunk Sandra really was. I figured I would go in, get her situated and comfortable so she wouldn't attempt to drive anywhere in her condition, and I'd finally be able to go home. Sandra and mystery man were perched on the couch, and the ex and I were in chairs flanked on either side. We were chatting and the boys were actually getting along well, talking about some business nonsense, when Sandra leaned into me like she was going to whisper something in my ear. I leaned toward her to listen, and she stood up, leaning over me, as I sat in the chair and proceeded to try to kiss me. Yeah, she was wasted. It was time for me to go. I somehow got her to agree to go crash in the spare room, gave mystery man directions to get home, and I made my way home.

Maybe women really are fucked. I don't know. It was an odd evening.


Betty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Uncle Bracelet said...

Tried to kiss you, or got in a little kiss before you realized? Because there's a huge difference when it comes to masturbating to the end of that story.

Sometimes the booze makes the truth come out (Charlotte!) and
sometimes it just makes you retarded. Sounds like she was a little of both.

And yes, I'm commenting waaaaay too early in the morning on this. I can't sleep. Got a headache and can't seem to stay comfortable. Weird cause my bed is teh shit.

Have a great Saturday!

Slick said...

Did I just read a Stephen King book??

Odd, indeed!

You're lucky to get along with your ex the way and mine get along about as well as two UFC fighters in the middle of a bout.

donkeypuncher said...

Any video?

Betty said...

Yeah, I am retarded... I deleted my own comment.

You are going to talk to Sandra and tell us what her reason for being a stupid girl was, right?

There will be a follow-up, right?

Uncle Bracelet said...

and video, right?

elizabeth said...

all you boys are perverts! which is why i like the boys.

no video, sorry. i will try to record all future semi-lesbian moments.

did that seem like stephen king? because it wasn't scary, really.