need a new drug


So, I decided sometime last night/this morning that I quit smoking. It wasn't because of the constant nagging from friends and family, or the scary commercials on tv (though that one of a 30-something year old's heart valve is really gross). What they say is true..it really is a matter of being ready and making that decision. The clincher for me was that I ran out of cigarettes around 3am and seriously considered, in the middle of a snow storm..leaving the coziness of my apartment and going to the store. Not like the store is just outside my front door, like it used to be..but many blocks away. In fact, the only store open at 3am must be driven to, and I was seriously contemplating this in a flurry of snow and thunder. That's just re-fucking-tarded. So that was that. Don't get me wrong..I'm not saying that because I decided that I quit, it's easy. It's not, it sucks ass. I'm cranky for no reason for spurts of time and I'm both entranced and disgusted by seeing other people smoke at the moment. So, I've still got the caffeine and I'm looking for something else to replace the nicotine. So far, I've tried Orbitz sweet mint gum as well as hershey kissables. Neither did it for me. Suggestions?

3 comments:

Jeff said...

Top ten items that can easily replace cigarettes:

10. Sudoku - hazards only include sideways stares from those of us who are still sane and think number puzzles went out when Einstein died.
9. Goldfish. Sometimes as difficult to obtain as cigarettes in a snowstorm. But the primary benefit is the healty mercury and the new listing in the Guiness Book of World Records if you eat them raw.
8. Poetry. Writing or reading or both. You could soon become the Poet Laureate and then be so overscheduled that you won't have time to smoke.
7. One of the first users of the Cross Crunch, which helps you crunch your way to fitness and turns flab to Fab in 90 seconds.
6. Online poker. 'Nuf said.
5. Learn to write with your feet. Typing is cheating, so go to Staples and get some golf pencils. When you've written your first FULL thank you note to me for this list using your feet, you can reward yourself with a cancer stick.
4. Learn how to shoot quail. Then you could go out with some republicans and shoot Quayle and Cheyney and other politicians.
3. Switch your allegiance to a different smoking stick. I've never tried it, truly, but I respect the substitution of one drug for another. Witness my former life as a cheerleader and my current life as a candy model.
2. Podcasts, podcasts, podcasts.
1. Use the four minutes per stick at 20+ per day to look in the mirror and thank yourself for being around for all of us to love for even longer. Good work.

sitboaf said...

Like cigarettes, sitboaf is small, white, addictive and hot.
Excuse me while I grab my acoustic guitar, put on sunglasses, sit on a stool, and sing "Light my fire! Light my fire! Light my fire!"

elizabeth said...

most excellent suggestions, thanks so much. I would type more, but it's taking time away from my foot-writing lessons. getting cramps in foot arches sure takes away the nic fits.