waking up in a crappy way

Sleeping all snuggled into bed this morning, my dream was invaded by odd sounds in the distance. There was banging and scratching noises, and in my dream, this was translated into someone being trapped and trying to escape from something. I found myself quickly moving toward the noise, to help I presume. As I approached and the banging became louder, I was getting very nervous, and I still couldn't make out the scene in which I was meant to play the heroine..everything was all fuzzy. Suddenly, I was awake, as if someone had flipped a switch in a very dark room. I threw my covers off, as I usually do first thing when I decide it's time to be awake. As my head leaned back toward the very large window behind my bed, I was confronted with the face of a window washer, strapped into some sort of pulley contraption, so he was suspended, squeegee in hand, a suction cup giving him the ability to move along the window like Spiderman. I'm glad it took only nanoseconds to take all this in, sad that I've made a habit of throwing off the covers upon waking. I sleep in the buff, people. I wouldn't normally feel the need to share that little piece of information, but since the guy who washes the windows here is privy, why shouldn't you be? Good stuff.

6 comments:

sitboaf said...

no pictures?
we got 476 pictures of the twisted baby!

tom said...

There's an upside to everything. Unfortunately, the upside to this belongs to the window washer who's week has taken a sudden turn for the best. You are now officially a drinking story.

Jeff said...

Dear Sir or Madam:

I'm responding to the recent advertisement for the position of window washer in your fair city.

Please note my experience and exemplary record in scaling small buildings and being quite discreet when it comes to certain things I might see through windows.

I will work for free as I think just donating my time is the proper thing to do. Please direct me immediately to that building in Jersey that has large windows and that baby-twisting, naked-sleeping hottie in it. There are windows to be tended to.

Sincerely,

Julio down by the school yard

elizabeth said...

glad you boys all enjoyed my humiliation thoroughly. and i apologize for not stopping mid-awkward (and mostly asleep) moment to get photos. perhaps next time!

p.s. all women know that they are some guy's drinking story, mainly because you all LIE excessively when drinking, anyway.

tom said...

Apology accepted. I think, under the circumstancesm we would settle for photos from a reenactment.

Jeff said...

Dear Sir or Madam:

In my earlier letter I must have been drinking.

Regardless, I am still available to work my glass magic for your company.

I also still request to be assigned that ‘special’ apartment as a test for my squeegie prowess. I guarantee that I’ll do my best to address any dirty images I find while on the job.

Yours,

Nigh T. Stalker