auction hell

Being the generous and helpful person that I am, I agreed to list a bunch of stuff on eBay for a friend. When he moved into his new office, he inherited a bunch of high-end tech equipment from the company who got evicted left. So, there is a room full of network antennas, IP phones, servers, and all sorts of geeky, expensive stuff. And the cubicles. There are lots of cubicles. Do you know how much companies pay for those pre-wired imprisoning pieces of crap?

I figured, no problem, I'll write down some serial numbers, do some research and slap them up on the auction block. Somehow, it didn't occur to me that I would get emails from the geeky buyers asking me questions I couldn't possibly know the answers to. "Is this the 802.11b model, or the newer xyz booster model?...what is the range for this?...blah blah snore blah".

Umm I don't know. For days now, I have been forced to find answers to these questions, so that someone will just bid already and release me from auction hell. The problem is that I need to find the answers via the internet. Do you know what happens to someone who is forced to look up boring crap on the internet? Shiny, fun things distract. They whisper 'come hither' to me and redirect me to...I don't know, 50 million blogs and youtube (because the Superbowl commercials are there. I didn't actually watch the game). If I'm going to stare at the computer for hours, shouldn't I redesign my blog (again)? The sad part is, I only listed about 1/4 of what was there, so I'll be going through this for a few weeks still. I'm so generous and helpful. Did I mention I get to keep 1/2 the profits? Yeah, I'm a saint.

5 comments:

kerewin said...

Do you have to be the one to wrap it all up and ship it, too? If so, you should get more than half the profits.

elizabeth said...


yeah i do. i may renegotiate. we'll see what stuff sells for. tedious, i tell you.

Matthew said...

Speaking of models, baby you hot. you need to be a model. you got it going ON. In fact I had a dream about you. But it wasn't a sexual dream. It was actually a frightning dream. Where I became best friends with President Bush, and he tutored me and told me humorous jokes about Nixon/Ford. It was fucking scary. But in the dream Pres Bush was married to Shelley Long, and she tried to seduce me, and then he said (while wearing FBI sunglasses), "Matthew, what did I tell you to do after you met my wife?" I was afraid he was going to kill me right there, and then he said, "Fire me, and hire my Johnson!" and he laughed, like he was really a pimp for marrying Shelley Long. I was like, is this guy still going to kill me?

Matthew said...

After you delete that post (as you should) I have a serious Question for you, but I dont know how to contact you. I think I re-added you to AIM yesterday but you aren't on...

elizabeth said...


you're nuts. i sent you an email at your hotmail address. and i'm so not deleting that because it's hilarious to me. you shouldn't drunk comment, hun