Thanks and Sorry V

-as always, actual search terms people used to get here are in italics-

can pigs really eat humans
Thanks for inquiring about the cool things pigs do. Yes, they can, in fact. So be nice or I will feed you to Petunia.

garbage chute fire
Those people totally suck, right?

statistics of baby getting hurt being thrown in the air
Sorry, if you need to google that, you probably shouldn't be entrusted with children. Babies are for twisting (and kicking, if you're very manly), but throwing is just wrong.

my boyfriend is a twat
I'm really very sorry. Perhaps better than your boyfriend having a twat, right? Unless you're into that sort of thing. Which is just fine with me.

nyquil and codeine safe?
Not only safe, but psychotropitastic! Enjoy! Thanks for the good idea. I was wondering what to do tonight.

funny herpes jokes
ok here!

Why did the dumb blonde name her dog Herpes?
Because it wouldn't heel

ok, sorry that kind of sucked, but maybe someone will leave a funnier one in the comments for you.

best canadian porn pictures
You should probably ask Matt Q about that. He is the official Canadian for this blog*. Also, he likes the naked pictures.

stare at boobs joke
"Stare at boobs" is pretty funny all by itself. Work on your delivery.

foot fetish birthday stories
Sorry I don't have any of those to share, but my best advice would be to create your own. You could start by getting me a pair of these:

... and, because it's your birthday, I will take pictures of my adorable feet in them and send them to you. Because I'm a giver. (size 7 1/2)

hideous plastic boy
wow, I just don't know. perhaps you could bring him to the holigay ball, where they can give him a fabulous plastic boy makeover?

penis was too big
This is how you know google is inaccurate. I never said too big.

*the "official Canadian is a prestigious title given by this blog (me) for the following criteria:
1. from Canada
2. reads this blog


Matt Q said...

Official Canadian, I like that!
I'm still a little jealous though, I wish I was getting the pics of your feet! I mean that in the most non-creepy way possible.
Thanks for the pimpin'!

Lizza said...

These search terms make me wonder what the hell people are thinking--or at least what they're smoking.

BTW, the blog My Boyfriend Is A Twat is written by Zoe, an Englishwoman who lives in Belgium. She's funny.

elizabeth said...

matt: i'm happy to name you the official canadian.

to all: the offer of the feet pictures is open to anyone who sends me those shoes. just so you know

lizza: yes, i've seen her blog, and it's very funny. i know the exact post that brought the searcher here, but any chance someone gives me to use that phrase, i have to take it.