Thanks and Sorry VI

It's more search term fun.

who is the cute guy in the Valtrex ad
: first of all, he's not really cute, and sorry, I have no idea who he is. I could find the girl who apparently lives in my building and ask her, because she was in that commercial. That's far too much work for a silly blog post, though.

burqas and tits: hmmm well thanks for broadening the porn search horizons. I guess.

i am completely heartbroken girlfriend
: awww sorry

in new york if my car is hit while parked must i report it to my insurance company: And tell them what? I will gladly allow you to raise my insurance rates because cab drivers are horrible drivers? Probably a bad idea.

namaste yoga masturbate: Sorry, I don't see how these things are related. I suppose doing yoga could allow you to masturbate in more interesting positions. I don't really need to hear the details of that little experiment, though. Thanks for not sharing.

cute memorable things to do for girlfriend: Ooh ooh! I know this! Here are some good ideas:

  • Go to a butterfly habitat. Make it more fun by wagering on who will attract more butterflies. The most pure of heart will win. Do not make a bet based on which of you can get one to land on your finger, though. They don't cooperate.

  • Two words...helicopter ride.

  • Cook her dinner. You probably shouldn't make anything that will make her feel bloated and gross. You totally won't get laid.

  • Send her love letters. In the real mail. Handwritten. Cute.

prom cleavage erection: Sorry, if you have cleavage AND an erection? I can't help you, prom or no prom.

OCD stare boobs: sorry, that doesn't make you OCD. It makes you a perv. Or just a guy.

youtube dirty feet slave cat: Sorry, you're gross. I'm not judging you. I just think you should know. Icky.

how to fellatio, large
: Umm, this is not a how-to sexual blog. Sorry. So while I'm not willing to share with you my personal secrets on such matters, I googled this out for you. I'm a giver.


Lisa said...

This cracked me up. Got here through Must Get Hobby. You just got yourself another loyal reader / stalker.

Wheezy said...

Before I deleted my original website a few years back I saved it to someone else's archives so that I could reference it if I ever needed to. I check the stats every once in a while to see if anything interesting turns up on the search term page. Here's some of the latest...

14 year old huge breasts
Does Rick Fox Have Herpes
sand dollar areolas
running after her car
female opponent groin
bridget the midget has an std


Pretty sweet that my blogging legacy still attracts the hot search terms.

elizabeth said...

lisa, welcome. as my new stalker, you should know that i often sleep naked with my shades open.

wheezy: bridget the midget has an std!??? dammit, i knew i should have waited before fulfilling that hot lesbian midget fetish. i hope it's a treatable one.

kerrianne said...

I laughed aloud at "how to fellatio, large." Awesome.

And the butterfly habitat sounds amazing.